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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has long been the reliable retreat of your Daily, and writers stay alert to significant toilet tales and historic moments, especially in relation to football. Readers were entertained to find out that an online journalist Adrian Chiles possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs within his residence. Reflect for a moment regarding the Barnsley supporter who understood the bathroom a little too literally, and needed rescuing from a deserted Oakwell after falling asleep on the loo midway through a 2015 losing match against Fleetwood Town. “He had no shoes on and had lost his mobile phone and his cap,” stated an official from the local fire department. And everyone remembers at the pinnacle of his career at Manchester City, the Italian striker popped into a local college for toilet purposes during 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then came in and was asking where the toilets were, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a pupil informed local Manchester media. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Restroom Quitting

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager after a brief chat inside a lavatory booth with FA director David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback against Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the historic stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, his private Football Association notes, he had entered the sodden troubled England locker room right after the game, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams motivated, both of them pleading for the director to convince Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies located him seated – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the dressing room corner, muttering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Collaring Keegan, Davies tried desperately to save the circumstance.

“Where on earth could we find [for a chat] that was private?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Merely one possibility emerged. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history happened in the old toilets of a stadium facing demolition. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I shut the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, subsequently confessing he considered his period as Three Lions boss “soulless”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's an extremely challenging position.” The English game has progressed significantly over the past twenty-five years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, while a German now sits in the dugout where Keegan once perched. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

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Quote of the Day

“We stood there in a lengthy line, wearing only our undergarments. We were Europe’s best referees, top sportspeople, examples, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We scarcely made eye contact, our looks wavered slightly nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina inspected us completely with a chilly look. Quiet and watchful” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“What does a name matter? A Dr Seuss verse exists named ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to manage the main squad. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and distributed some merchandise, I have decided to put finger to keypad and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the school playground with kids he anticipated would defeat him. This masochistic tendency must account for his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|